Pure in Heart
by quickand2thepointless
Summary: Unsure of how to proceed with his tentative relationship with Natsume, Tanuma receives some unexpected help from a youkai with the time and place to move things forward. NatsuTanu one-shot.


**A/N: **I was blown away by the support for my first NatsumexTanuma fic _Could We? _and wanted to bring more love to this beautiful pairing. The more I reread the manga and watch the anime, the more moved I am by these two characters, who are truly without a doubt the definition of 'pure in heart.' I hope you enjoy my second one-shot for this pairing and continue to show your support.

**Disclaimer: **Characters aren't mine, but the writing is all me.

0o0o0o0o0o0

**Pure in Heart.**

Natsume always seemed to be sleeping these days. Tanuma popped his head into his classroom every morning to see if they would have a minute or two to talk before homeroom, but every time, Natsume's head would be buried in his arms, his face hidden from sight except for the crinkled lines of his forehead and the fine hairs of his brow.

He hated to disturb him. Natsume had a particularly innocent of way of sleeping compared to the guardedness of wakened body; though he kept his head shielded, his slim back was left open and exposed, and even when you shook him on the shoulder to rouse him, he opened his eyes lazily and took a moment to become aware of his surroundings. Besides, Tanuma was certain Natsume barely got any sleep at night due to his dealings with the youkai, and needed to rest whenever he could to regain stamina. He didn't know what business the youkai had with Natsume in the late hours of the night or why he allowed them to occupy the time he needed to sleep, but surely there could be no other answer.

That morning, Natsume was for once awake and seated at his desk, staring outside the window with a far away expression on his face. Kitamoto and Nishimura were chattering excitedly around him, but he seemed unaware of what they were saying, simply looking single-mindedly outside, his fingers coiled through the ends of his hair and tugging absently.

Tanuma tapped him on the back and waited for him to come to attention. "Oh, hey, Tanuma," Natsume said once he had regained his sense of location. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see you. Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yeah. Nyanko-sensei woke me up when he came back from drinking last night, but other than that, there was nothing else."

Tanuma imagined Ponta bursting through Natsume's window, reeking of alcohol and unsteady on his feet, and could not help but chuckle. The big-headed lucky cat made a humorous contrast to the lovely and sleek body of Natsume, and Tanuma appreciated the visual discrepancies between them.

"Are you busy this weekend?" he asked out of the blue. It had been awhile since he'd fallen ill with his youkai-induced headaches, and he felt up to venturing beyond his house if it meant being able to spend more time with Natsume.

"No. Why?"

"Want to go out? A pastry shop opened up not too far from your house, and I wanted to give it a try."

"You like sweets?"

Tanuma shrugged. "If they're made well. How about you?"

"It's been so long since I've had them. Nyanko-sensei usually steals them if Touko-san makes some." He brushed a stray hair from his eye. "But sure, I'll go with you. It sounds nice."

Nishimura peeked his head over Tanuma's shoulder. "Only Natsume? No fair, Tanuma! If you're going to invite only him, don't do it in front of us!"

"Sorry," Tanuma said softly. "But it's a date."

"Eh? Ah, you're joking! Right?"

Tanuma didn't answer, but simply waved goodbye to Natsume and returned to his own classroom. He couldn't say for certain that they were actually dating. They'd kissed once before, and though Natsume hadn't pushed him away, he hadn't exactly confirmed his feelings either. It was hard to get a hold of what was going on in Natsume's mind, but Tanuma wasn't about ready to give up just yet. Natsume clearly struggled in dealing with others and being honest, and the fact that he hadn't gotten mad over the kiss had to mean something.

Once he was in the hallway, Tanuma looked out the window to examine the area Natsume had been staring at before he'd interrupted. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a shadow in the shape of a child resting on the lawn, right within Natsume's line of sight. He squinted, trying to flesh out the youkai as Natsume would see it, but as always, it remained a hazy figure, something barely distinguishable from the scenery itself. No matter how long he stayed at Natsume's side, there was still only so much he could do with eyes that would not fully see the world as Natsume saw it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

When Tanuma arrived at the Fujiwaras Saturday morning, Touko-san was the one who answered the door. Tanuma was always happy to see her. Whenever Natsume talked about other relatives he'd stayed with, he'd get a depressed frown on his face, but whenever he talked about Touko and Shigeru, his eyes lit up. Tanuma could understand why Natsume's reactions to youkai would frighten those who couldn't see or believe in them, but he couldn't forgive all the people in Natsume's past who had sooner hurt him than try to understand the pain and loneliness he went through.

"Please excuse Takashi," Touko said, granting Tanuma a wide smile. "He was a bit slow getting up this morning. I'm sure he'll be down to see you in a few moments. Thank you for looking after him."

"I'm glad to do it."

"He's a good boy, isn't he?" Touko looked down at her hands and smiled. "Everyone said we would regret taking him, but I haven't, not for a single moment."

"He really is amazing, I was sickly as a child, and never had many friends growing up. Meeting him has been very important to me."

"For us as well. I knew from the very first moment I met him that there was something special about him. It's not often you come across an essence so pure and sincere that it cannot help but draw you to it. Takashi truly is a gentle soul."

"What are you saying about me?" Natsume hopped down onto the landing, Ponta riding on his shoulder. For someone who had just recently gotten up, he looked quite fresh and groomed, though as always his street clothes were a bit rumpled from all the running he did in them.

"Oh, nothing," Touko said, winking at Tanuma. "Tanuma-kun is waiting for you."

"Sorry to make you wait. Touko-san, could you look after Nyanko-sensei today?" He heaved the cat off his shoulder and handed him to her. "I don't want him hanging around and getting us in trouble with the shop."

"How ungrateful," Ponta howled as Touko-san cradled him in her arms. "You were the one who wanted a bodyguard, weren't you?"

"Ready to get going?" Natsume asked, ignoring his bodyguard's repeated mewling. "Should we walk, or did you bring your bike?"

"It's not too far, so let's just walk. Sorry for intruding, Fujiwara-san."

"You boys enjoy yourself!" Touko-san called as they slid open the door. Ponta merely glared at them, demanding that they bring back cream puffs as an apology.

"So, how have you been recently?" Tanuma asked as they made their way down the street. "Has anything happened?"

"Nothing serious. A few low level youkai came to visit, but they didn't cause any trouble. Sensei just keeps holding drinking parties without my permission."

"An alcoholic cat, huh?" Tanuma chuckled. "He isn't stealing sake from your family is he?"

"No. Sensei may not look like it, but he's actually a high level youkai. Whenever he wants to, he can pretty much bully C-listers into doing what he wants. I'm pretty sure he's forced them to into being his drinking buddies against their will."

"I bet Pon- _Nyanko-sensei_- is quite a handful when he's drunk." Tanuma looked at Natsume from the corner of his eye. "I was wondering if you'd been having trouble sleeping lately. You look tired."

"Oh, that's because of something else."

Tanuma lifted an eyebrow. "Something else? What else could be keeping you up late every night?"

Natsume's ears turned pink. "Well... it's sort of a favor for my grandmother. When she died, she left me behind something very important to do."

"And you can't talk about it?"

"The thing is, there's a person in the area who absolutely can't know what I'm doing. The more I talk about it, the riskier it gets, and it would be really, really bad if that person found out. Especially for the youkai."

"You shouldn't get yourself involved in something so dangerous."

"I sort of have a responsibility to be involved. It's hard to explain, but what I'm dealing with was very important to my grandmother." Natsume smiled gently. "Thank you for being concerned, but this is the reason I keep Nyanko-sensei around. I have faith he won't let anything happen to me."

"I know," Tanuma murmured. "But it would be nice if the person you relied on could be me."

"Tanuma..." Natsume trailed off, spotting the new patisserie in the distance. "Wow, how did I miss them building that? This is even girlier than the one Kitamoto took me to for Shigeru-san's birthday cake. Are you sure its fine for us to go in?"

"Natsume, you walk around all the time with-"

"A cat, so I shouldn't be embarrassed about something like this. I know, I know. But if we're the only guys in there, don't blame me."

When they walked in, they were promptly greeted by a male waiter, much to Natsume's surprise. Though the majority of the customers were groups of girls or else couples on dates, there were a few guys sprinkled here and there, fully engaged in their plates of sweets.

"Mmm, everything looks so good," Natsume said, admiring the decadent display. "I think I want some strawberry shortcake."

"And don't forget cream puffs to go for your sensei."

"Ah, of course. I suppose I owe him a favor or two."

When their orders came in, they spent a few minutes in silence tearing into their sweets. "This is good," Tanuma said. "How about yours?"

"Fantastic! I'll have to remember to come here again." There was a bit of whipped cream of the corner of his lip, and just as Tanuma was about to reach out and wipe it off, Natsume's tongue snaked out and lapped it up. Tanuma felt himself flushing slightly. It had only happened just the once, but he was certain that during the time they'd kissed, he'd gotten just the slightest taste of Natsume's tongue. He wanted to try it again so badly. It wasn't so much the physicality of it that he wanted, but rather the assurance that Natsume wanted him close, that he liked him enough to let him inside his locked up world so they could stay together.

"Are you all right, Tanuma?" Natsume asked. "You look a bit red."

"Um... it's just a bit hot in here. But I'm fine."

"Hmm. Maybe we we're finished, we could go for a walk. It's cooler out today, so that might make you feel better." Natsume's eyes strayed to the shop's doorway, and his body suddenly froze. His hand remained suspended in front of his mouth, and the piece of cake on his fork slid off and landed back on his plate.

"What? What's wrong?" Tanuma turned around to look through the door, but saw nothing other than pedestrians milling back and forth as usual.

"I thought I saw a youkai," Natsume said. "But I think it's just someone cosplaying. Do you see a little boy wearing swan wings in front of the door?"

Tanuma squinted. "Nope, nothing like that."

"Oh. Then it is a youkai I guess."

"Is it looking for you?"

"I don't know. I've never seen one like this before." Natsume shrugged. "Let's finish up first and then see what it wants. If it keeps hanging around the shop like this, it may cause trouble."

When they'd polished off their cake and prepared Ponta a supply of cream puffs in a carry out box, Natsume pulled open the door and looked down to where Tanuma presumed the youkai was standing. "Hello," Natsume said in a soft voice, so not to attract attention. "Do you-"

Before the sentence was completed, the carry out box was ripped from Natsume's hands and held suspended in the air by a shadowy figure that Tanuma could just barely see. "Excuse me, but that's a gift for someone else..." Natsume protested, reaching to grab it back. The figure jerked it away, and seemingly said something to Natsume before running off the street and heading to the more wooded areas of the town.

"What was that about?" Tanuma asked. "Was it hungry?"

"No..." Natsume pursed his lips. "He said 'If you're looking for the time and place, then follow me and take this back.'"

"The 'time and place'? I wonder what that means."

"I'm not sure. But it could be important. The last time a youkai did something like this, it ended up being because he wanted me to help some humans who were being threatened."

"Then let's go after it." Tanuma grabbed Natsume's hand and pulled him forward. "Lead the way."

They chased the shadow deeper into the woods, trying to keep their pace among the protruding trees roots and low hanging branches. "Didn't you say he has wings?" Tanuma called to Natsume after nearly pitching over a tree stump. "Why isn't he flying?"

"He wants us to catch him. Youkai don't always deal with things the way humans do, and many of the ones who take child-like forms enjoy playing games."

"A game, huh? I wonder what he intends to do when we catch up."

The youkai pulled them further and further through the trees until they reached a hilly area which overlooked a remote dirt path. Natsume slowed his run, placing his hands on his knees and taking moment to catch his breath.

"It's up on the top of the cliff," he said after a moment. "I think it's waiting for us."

"Is it safe to talk to it without your sensei?"

"I sense no malice from it. Besides, I think there's a reason it brought us to this particular place."

"This particular place? Is there something special about here?"

"Think. Does it look at all familiar to you?" Natsume waved his hand dismissively. "Nevermind. It's getting impatient. If we take longer, it's going to start eating the cream puffs."

They made their way up the incline until they were at the very top. Tanuma could see the box from the patisserie lying on the ground, but still couldn't make out the youkai Natsume could see.

"Hey, you," Natsume said, walking forward and kneeling on the ground beside the carry out box. "What's this about?"

He was silent for a moment while he waited for it to respond. "I see, so you know him," he said at length. "Was there something you needed?" A pause. "Ah, I see. You wanted to say 'thank you.' But why out here?"

There was only silence for a long time. If Natsume hadn't nodded along to whatever was being said from time to time, Tanuma might have been tempted to believe there was nothing there. But whatever the youkai said seemed to deeply affect Natsume. His cheeks flushed, and a pained look seemed to come to his eyes.

"That's... I know you understand the reasons why it's difficult," he said when the youkai had finished speaking. "That's why I haven't said anything yet, even though I know it's hurting that person. What do you think I should do?" He waited for a moment. "I understand. It would be a bad idea for the favor he did you to go unrewarded. I'll do my best. And thank you for wanting to help him. You are a very good child."

Tanuma looked on as Natsume lifted his hand and massaged a patch of air, then turned so he could watch the retreating figure as it flew off into the distance.

"What happened?" Tanuma asked. "Did he explain himself?"

Natsume nodded. "He did. Do you remember how every weekend you'd throw the crusts of the toast your father made you outside to the birds?"

"Ye- wait, how would you know about that?" Tanuma shuffled from foot to foot. "I just don't like the way they taste, you know?"

Natsume laughed. "Hey, I'm not judging you. They never reached the birds though. The youkai I spoke to is a low level being who lived nearby your house while it was recovering from an injury. It wasn't strong enough to get food, so it fed off the scraps you threw it. Now that it's healed, it wanted to do something to thank you."

"By bringing us here? Why?" Tanuma glanced around, trying to figure out where they were. He traveled to the edge of the cliff and glanced over it, then looked upwards towards the sky. Something about the motion triggered a memory within him, a vision of colors bursting above him and a beautiful, warm person beside him who he was only just beginning to know.

"This was the place," he whispered. "We watched the fireworks here."

"Yeah."

"But why... didn't he say something about looking for the time and the place? What does this mean?"

Natsume looked at his feet. "The youkai... he told me that you had been troubled recently... because you were thinking about me."

"What? There's no way that youkai knows about that. They can only read memories when they possess you, and I'm sure I wasn't possessed by anything!"

"You... um... talk to yourself, apparently."

"I do?" He blinked, massaging his forehead. "Nothing too embarrassing, I hope. I really didn't want to bring this up this way."

"But I do want to talk about it. I really do. I just didn't know when or where I should, and I chickened out. The youkai was just trying to give me a little nudge, that's all. This place is special to me, too."

"Natsume?"

Natsume walked to the edge of the cliff and stood beside him, gazing out over the scenery. "I love this place," he said softly. "I'd like to stay here forever, if I can. But I know that if the people I care about are hurt because of my presence here, I'll have to leave, even if it breaks my heart to do it. That's why... I really just don't know what to do. Meeting you has made me happy, and I'd like to stay together with you, but the more you become involved with me, the more it will hurt us both if something happens. I just really couldn't bear to see you hurt because you were pulled into this world."

"I get that," Tanuma said, placing a hand on Natsume's arm. "I wouldn't want to be hurt either, because that would hurt you and trouble my father. But even if me being a part of your life is a risk, I'd rather take that risk than have you leave. Even if I can't help you like Natori-san and Nyanko-sensei, please at least give me the chance to grow stronger and be someone you can trust to stay at your side!"

Natsume turned to face Tanuma, releasing a long and troubled sigh. "I don't know what to do. I've never had this many precious things to lose in my life, so I'm not sure how to work through these things just yet. But... I don't want you to suffer because I can't give you a proper answer. I really do like you, Tanuma. And if staying together will make you happy, I don't want to tell you that we can't."

"Then don't." Tanuma reached out to wrap his arm around Natsume's shoulder. "If we both want the same thing, then that's enough. Even if it's difficult, we'll find a way to make this happen. I refuse to believe you were given those powers just to have them keep you away from everything important."

"Mmm." Natsume at last granted him with a smile. "I don't know how much assurance I can give you, but the, um, _you know_, from the other time... it was very sweet."

"The kiss?" Tanuma grinned as Natsume's cheeks turned pink. "Does that mean we can do it again?"

"As long as it's at the right time and in the right place."

"Here, in other words?"

Without waiting for a response, Tanuma bent down and gently kissed Natsume on his parted lips, tasting the sweetness of strawberries and cream still lingering on his mouth. Unlike the first time they had done this, Natsume responded to the contact, and though his movements were lacking in confidence, they were overwhelming in their sincerity. Tanuma placed his hand on the small of Natsume's back as he deepened their kiss, wanting to feel all of him, not just the soft press of his lips. Even so, he was almost too much; too beautiful, too precious, too giving, and even though they were caught up in something like this, too extraordinarily pure in his heart.

"Let's stay like this," Tanuma whispered when he pulled away. "Even if you can't tell me how long, let's make it as long as we can."

Natsume said nothing immediately, simply extending his hand to the gentle winds and whispering a soft 'thank you' to a shadow in the distance.

0o0o0o0o0o0o


End file.
